found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
