So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
