"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize