I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
she told me i tasted like america
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
