me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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