So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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