just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
