a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
