Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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