he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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