Your mouth is God's brothel.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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