Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
