everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
