im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
