there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
