I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
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i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
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Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
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