i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
