I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
You may now shotgun with the bride
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
