ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Randomize
