we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
