Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
