She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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