I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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