I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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