Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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