Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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