It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Randomize
