Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
