If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
You're a waste of cheezeits
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
