rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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