Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
wanna go halves on a baby?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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