Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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