ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
