All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
We need to rekindle our bromance
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Randomize
