Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
