He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
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