She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
