so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
