i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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