So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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