New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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