I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
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He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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