Whod you bang
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
No subtext here. People are naked.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
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