you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
