Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize