Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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