This is not my ceiling
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I would ride that face into the sunset
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
