Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
