yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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