i just google imaged poop.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
