You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize
