Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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