Soap is not a condiment
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Bring me that man meat
Drake has all the answers
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
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