Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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