good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
