i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
