she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
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