using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
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Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
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I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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