Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
