the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
