No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
These tits shall not be calmed
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
