Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
